Why Do Some Muslims Practice Differently?7 min read

Laura El Alam

“Our neighbors are Muslim and they celebrate Halloween. Why can’t you?”

“My dentist is a Muslim and she doesn’t wear a headscarf. Why do you have to?”

“I was invited to a Muslim wedding once, and there was loud music and dancing. But then I have this Muslim colleague who won’t listen to music at all. Why are some Muslims modern, but others are so old-fashioned?”

“Why do the women in Afghanistan have to wear burkas? Why aren’t they allowed to go to school? Why are some Muslims misogynistic?”

As a convert to Islam, I have heard many questions like these over the years from non-Muslim friends and family members. They say they feel confused when they see some Muslims doing one thing, and others doing the opposite. They say they want to know what Islam actually requires of its followers because, based on Muslims’ behavior, it’s sometimes unclear.

Why do we see Muslims around the world doing certain things differently? Is there a right way and a wrong way to practice Islam?

When considering these questions, let’s keep some things in mind:

1. There are different, valid scholarly opinions on certain topics. In Islam, there are several gray areas that scholars have interpreted differently. For instance, some scholars say all music is forbidden. Others say it is allowed, as long as it does not have unwholesome lyrics. Both opinions are valid, and individual Muslims must decide which opinion they believe is stronger and which makes them feel closer to God. Whenever there are different scholarly opinions, you will see Muslims acting in different ways. It is important to note that these variations are all regarding secondary aspects of Islam. All Muslims believe in the same, basic fundamentals.

2. Some people don’t know all the rules of their faith. Just because someone grew up in a Muslim family, or in a Muslim-majority country, does not mean they necessarily know much about their faith. Some families are “Muslim by default” or “Muslim by name” but do not really practice Islam. Others have learned and passed down a culturally-influenced version of Islam that is not entirely correct. While it is every Muslim’s responsibility to learn about their faith and implement it properly, not all Muslims take this task seriously, and not everyone has the same access to Islamic education and guidance.

3. Some Muslims struggle to follow God’s rules. Like people from any other faith tradition, Muslims are imperfect. Sometimes they are strong in upholding their values, and sometimes temporarily weak. There are times when they know what they should do, but they have trouble submitting to God’s commands. There are many Muslim women, for instance, who truly believe that they should wear a headscarf but struggle to implement this act of worship for various reasons. There are Muslim men who know they should treat their wives with respect and kindness, but sometimes allow selfishness, arrogance, or a bad temper to affect their actions. Islam is perfect, but Muslims are not.

4. Some prioritize assimilation. For some Muslims, fitting in with the society around them feels crucially important. Perhaps they are immigrants who desperately want to feel embraced by their community. Maybe they are converts who don’t want to give up all the traditions from their past. For whatever reason, some Muslims choose to partake in holidays, traditions, actions, and a lifestyle that more closely match the non-Muslims around them. At times this might lead them to compromise or ignore their Islamic values.

5. There are people and groups who purposely distort Islam. For selfish, cultural, or political reasons, there are some individuals or governments who distort the rules of Islam and apply their so-called Islamic legislation oppressively. This tyranny is not unique to Muslims, of course. Throughout time, corrupt representatives of various religions have perpetrated violence, occupation, torture, forced conversion, injustice, and more in the name of their faith.

One thing I have noticed over the years is that there is often an underlying sense of superiority behind many of the questions about Muslims’ practice of their faith. When someone implies that listening to music at a wedding is “modern” but abstaining from music is “old-fashioned,” for instance, they are assuming that their own worldview is the only correct one, and anyone who does things differently from them is backwards.

When people constantly point out instances of Muslim women being oppressed, but never speak out about the subjugation of women worldwide – women in their own country, in fact, who are being oppressed by their own faith group– they are being Islamophobic, whether they realize it or not. These are often the same people who equate hijab with oppression and refuse to believe most Muslim women wear hijab voluntarily.

When someone wonders why all Muslims can’t just assimilate and “act like Americans” by dressing and behaving like everyone else, their assumption is that the United States is a religious monolith, or that American culture is superior, and that Muslims are interlopers who need to abandon or hide their faith to fit in.

Some questions are, in actuality, veiled criticisms, and it is important for non-Muslims to think about their motivation for asking why Muslims do– or don’t do– certain things. Are they truly trying to understand Islam? Or are they trying to judge or condemn?

With 1.9 billion Muslims in the world, there are bound to be differences among them. Each believer has a unique relationship with their Creator, and some are more determined to practice their faith than others. Culture, personality, nationality, education, and character can all affect a Muslim’s worship, and so we should not judge Islam based on what we observe people doing. Instead, we should look to the Quran and Sunnah to see what Allah has revealed.