Laura El Alam

If you are not a Muslim and you are invited to a mosque, a Muslim’s home, or a country where Islam is the predominant religion, you might wonder if there are certain rules of etiquette you should follow. Rest assured, you can be yourself in all these spaces and will likely find a warm welcome. Still, there are definitely some steps you can take to be polite and respectful. Here are six things to keep in mind when visiting Islamic spaces:

1. Leave your shoes at the door. In mosques and in Muslims’ homes all around the world, visitors’ shoes are left at the entrance. This tradition can be traced to Islam’s focus on cleanliness and purity. It makes sense that in spaces where Muslims will touch their heads to the floor while praying, the carpets should not be tainted by germs and impurities from the outside. Inside their homes, many Muslims wear slippers or indoor shoes. If you are uncomfortable wearing only socks in a Muslim’s home, you may bring your own clean slippers. In a mosque, however, you will find that everyone wears socks or is barefoot (with clean feet).

2. Keep it professional with members of the opposite sex. Islamic rules prohibit interactions that are in any way suggestive or flirtatious outside of marriage. Even something that seems innocuous, like a handshake, might not be welcomed by a Muslim of the opposite gender. If you are a male, you can feel free to shake hands with Muslim men and speak with them like you would to a friend, but please avoid physical contact with Muslim women, and keep your conversations with them professional. For females, the converse rules apply.

There is a lovely gesture that some people use to greet Muslims of the opposite gender: they place a hand on their own heart and give a slight bow of the head. This greeting acknowledges a person, honors their religious beliefs, and is a respectful, wholesome substitute for a handshake.

3. Be mindful of food restrictions. Islamic law prohibits the consumption of pork and alcohol, including by-products like porcine gelatin, which can be found in many desserts, and lard, which is sometimes used for frying or flavoring. If you visit a Muslim gathering and wish to bring food to share, please ensure that none of these prohibited ingredients are used. In addition, many Muslims eat only meat that is zabiha, or slaughtered according to Islamic standards. Because of this, they might choose to avoid meat products whose origins are unclear.

In general, if you really want to bring a dish to share, it is safest to choose something unambiguous and simple, like a fresh fruit or vegetable platter. If you visit a Muslim’s home and would like to give your hosts a gift (which is certainly not expected or mandatory), avoid bringing wine or any kind of alcohol.

4. Avoid foul language. Part of Muslims’ commitment to purity is the avoidance of bad words and vulgar topics. This is not to say that no Muslim ever utters a curse word – certainly some do. But the Islamic faith warns against vulgarity, and swearing or talking about inappropriate topics is considered impolite, impure, and potentially sinful.

5. Dress modestly. One of the main values that distinguishes Islam from other faiths is its prioritization of modesty. Muslim men and women have a dress code and a mindset that are meant to promote wholesomeness and respect. If you are visiting an Islamic space or a Muslim’s home, please consider dressing modestly out of respect for their religious traditions. For men, an outfit of pants and a shirt (long or short-sleeved) is appropriate. For women, loose pants, a long skirt or maxi dress, and a modest, full-length shirt or sweater with sleeves would be ideal. Both genders should avoid tight, revealing, or transparent clothing.

6. Consider being diplomatically demure. While most Muslims probably won’t mention their discomfort, certain behaviors will likely make them feel awkward. If you’re in a Muslim-majority land or even a Muslim’s home and you want to be considerate of their beliefs, you may want to keep these tips in mind:

    • Romantic displays of affection are generally kept out of the public eye. Kissing, cuddling, etc. between a husband and wife are normal and even encouraged in Islam, but these things happen behind closed doors.
    • Bathroom activities are not announced. While some non-Muslims will casually say, “I have to pee before we leave,” for example, most Muslims will be more discreet about such matters. “I’ll be ready in five minutes,” is a good alternative.
    • Know that “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” can be problematic terms. Islamic law prohibits the kind of dating that most non-Muslims engage in. There really is no “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” scenario in a traditional Islamic courtship. Instead, there are two people who are interested in getting to know each other with the possibility–and ultimate objective– of marrying. Potential spouses will meet, talk, and exchange emails or texts with a chaperone’s oversight, and they are not supposed to have physical/affectionate contact until they are legally married.

Do some Muslims today choose to ignore these Islamic rules? Absolutely. So you might meet a Muslim who does “date” and talk about having a boyfriend or girlfriend, but this behavior will not be condoned by the majority of society around them. Please note: no one is expecting you, a non-Muslim, to change your lifestyle to conform to Islamic values. However, you might consider avoiding the topic of your romantic life for the sake of being respectful of Islamic norms.

Visiting Islamic spaces and getting to know your Muslim neighbors is a wonderful way to learn about the world’s second largest religion, to ask questions, and to have conversations about common values and goals. Your efforts to show up respectfully in your behavior and dress will be greatly appreciated by your new Muslim friends.

Want to learn more about Islam? Call 877-WhyIslam. You deserve to know!